A Reason for Infertility

Last weekend I had one of those moments when I said this must be one of the reasons why I went through infertility: to be able to recognize someone else's pain.

I was at my friend's baby shower, the first shower I've attended since leaving the last one in tears and crying the whole drive home. (I swore I wouldn't go to another baby shower until I was either pregnant or had adopted a baby, and I didn't.)

A few months earlier, my pregnant friend confided in me that her sister-in-law had a miscarriage, right before my friend announced to her family that she was pregnant. I sat by her sister-in-law at the shower, and while I had met her only once before, I kept thinking that it couldn't be easy for her to be at any baby shower, much less this beautiful, elaborate one (a room completely done in pink) for her sister-in-law. I hesitated saying anything to her, but remembering what I felt like at the last shower I attended, I whispered to her that I had heard about her miscarriage, and that I was praying for her. I was afraid she was going to cry after I said that, but instead we spent the rest of the shower looking for opportunities to whisper about infertility and all that comes with it.

"No one understands how hard this shower is for me," she said, and I believe all of us who have experienced infertility can relate to that.
 
Also, in her situation, her due date would have been the same as my friend's. If that's not enough pain, her husband recently experienced an accident on the job and had to undergo complicated surgery, although the prognosis is good.

God, why do some people have to go through so much?  I know you have a plan for her life. (She believes that too.) I know you can bring good out of any situation. I believe you have a child meant for her, but my heart hurts for her.

After hearing her story, I read back through my journal, thought about my own 2-year wait, and was reminded of all the anxiety and fear I was feeling, just a few months ago. And then, like always when I'm feeling emotional, I turned on a worship song, prayed, and cried. 

I cried because so many of us go through infertility, and I cried because there are ways to resolve it. I cried out of thankfulness that after starting to believe that a pregnancy was no longer possible, I'm experiencing one. I pray my new friend experiences pregnancy or adoption as well.

I also couldn't help crying over the fact that I'm having a SON.  We just found out less than two weeks ago, and my husband and I can't stop sharing the news.  A boy.  Amazing.  We would be just as ecstatic if we were having a girl. As so many of you know, it doesn't matter if it's a he or she or what the child looks like, as long as the baby is ours.